Snitching on the Thesaurus

If I were an analphabet, I would typify myself as a valley, accentuated with a mutable lawn, adorned with a burst of regal flowers covering a decadent book and a thesaurus, ready to leap at any moment’s notice. I would use the brightest, most piercing letters I could find in the dictionary, creating a sitcom of chatty words that would silently parachute onto paper—those lofty ones, humorously sedating the phrases waiting, cocooned in their flash drives, ready to be printed.
Snitching on the thesaurus, it wasn’t as Google says—“don’t call me by my name.” Embracing the pitiable paragraph about an engraved picture, it was but a musical note… or perhaps it wasn’t either.

Under the Open Sky

And then there are days
when you stop feeling sorry for yourself—
when the weight loosens from your shoulders,
when the chains of ordinary hours
fall quiet around your feet.
Days when all you want
is to let loose.
Yesterday was one of them—
a small, simple apron of freedom
tied around the afternoon.
Let loose with a friend.
Let loose in the park.
Let loose on your feet,
running nowhere in particular.
Let loose by the water fountain.
Let loose and simply be.
Let the sun lean into your soul.
Let the air move through you.
Let the birds stitch their songs
through the open sky above your head.
Let the water speak—
in its clear, patient language.
Let loose of nuisances and small annoyances.
Let loose of tomorrow’s burdens
and even the stubborn cauliflower in your salad.
Let loose of the iron table in the laundry room,
the scissors resting on the kitchen counter,
the shoes waiting on the stairs.
Let loose and run.
Let loose and smile.
Let loose and dance.
Let loose of the old stories
today no longer needs.
Let loose just to let loose—
to escape, if only for a moment.
Let loose of the raggedy T-shirt,
of the small things that cling to you.
And then, quietly—
let His power
brush over you like a gentle rhythm,
until you remember again
you are His,
and it is enough
simply
to be.

Dear Kairo, What If…

If I could speak to my soul—if she were my twin sister—I would tell her stories of what ifs.

What if I had taken that road? What if I had bought that house by the river? What if I had taken a helicopter ride? What if I had taken that job? What if I had moved to Milan? What if I had not gotten married? What if I had not gone to the beach? What if I had written a play? What if I could read the footprint? What if I had changed lanes? What if I had driven a Mercedes? What if I had written a story? What if I had brought more joy? What if I had sung that song? What if I had stayed single? What if I had written a cookbook? What if I had gone to the movies? What if I had learned to dance tango? What if I had taken that trip? What if I had said yes when I said no? What if I had said no when I said yes? What if had learned how to play the guitar? What if I had started earlier? What if I had waited longer? What if I had followed my fear? What if I had followed my courage? What if I had learned German? What if I had planted a garden? What if I had bought that little café? What if I had called back? What if I had written more letters? What if I had forgiven sooner? What if I laughed less? What if I had loved louder? What if I had listened more? What if I had taken the long way home? What if I had watched more sunsets? What if I had danced when the music played?

Life can feel like a slew of “what if” buttons popping out of a refrigerator door, as if you could press one and see where it might lead. I don’t know where they would have taken me. But I do know that this is the path I have taken, and here I am.

Perhaps it isn’t the chimney I once dreamed of standing beneath, but it is the pot God intended for me to cook in—the perfect recipe, made with all the sauces and ingredients of my life.