My 2018. Goodbye!

Years ago, let’s just say a few very not so distant months back, I embarked in this journey that only God could have taken me to and He alone knows where and when it will end. It is called, new beginning.

The beginning I have transformed myself into that even I don’t recognize. The beginning perhaps, is age, maturity or the one He had planned all along, I don’t know. The only thing I know, the road leading to it hasn’t been easy at times, excruciatingly incomprehensible but I am here, not quiet just there yet.

I learned I needed not to be afraid, not that guarded all the time but have faith, surround to the elements and once I did, I was able to embrace whatever and see it for what it is, tomorrow.

But just yesterday I stopped making plans as they would always end up with holes in them frustrating my mundane mornings of carousels. I stopped as, unbeknownst to me they were being written, they were never coming to fruition due to holes and I never understood why.

I just kept going, like Merry Go Round. So, I learned to let go and talk less about the plans as it became clear it wasn’t my job to write them but embrace whatever was already laid out in front of me.

I have been on an exploratory committee of sorts, on a train to tomorrow, an endless tomorrow that has shown its beauty, amplifying its tireless doors, drinking from a make believe bottle and I am liking it.

Tomorrow can never be promised but it can be a party, a party of life and you are invited but it is up to you however, to do whatever you want with the invitation.

To my family and peeps, I love you dearly. To you I will say, I had temporarily taken a detour but I am back. Hooray to new beginnings. Shout out to 2019. May you have an Awesome, Happy and Blessed Year. Much Love! ❤🙏🙏🙏😘

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Snubbed

Rekindling the fire in her heart, she searched for the mystical bridge taken in by the fog, hoping to catch the miracle wagon going by. Humid and drizzling, the journey was still raw. Images of a dejected melancholic carriage left stranded in a dark alley, featured on the quarterly review. Conversation abound, negotiations on hand, doctor’s office was put on notice. The clock was ticking at the tip of the hour, unhurridly, one pointer at the time and as the fog began to fade miserably, the flock silenced the clumsy nightfall rescued by a peppermint light bulb moment.

©️Angela Aguiar

A Joint and a Trip

I have been telling God that I wanted to be in a hotel room all by myself on the beach, close my eyes to the wind, lay flat on the bed like a piece of gum, without a care in the world, just laying there, like Mr potatohead, watching the rainbow go by, shooting at flies pissed at the rain.

I have, for ages, I promise but it seemed to die on thin air on the transatlantic railroad.

I asked and I asked the bellman, the concierge, the fruitloop dressed like a bodyguard at the corner store to give me a sign. I begged my soul keeper to decree a heaven’s gate, a place to drip the scrambled eggs on any given omelette as I fought the alligators on the prowl. I did but no answer.

Instead, I woke from the dream, feeling more like a contessa then a princess, in a hotel somewhere in the middle of the ocean, laying flat on a palm tree, legs dangling like a yoyo, on a full belly, my heart racing like a leopard, margarita on hand, vegetable cigarette on the other, drunken stupor from a lemon juice overdose. I don’t know who was driving this joint but it surely felt like a trip to me.

©️Angela Aguiar