GABFEST

No Title Worthy Mentioning

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publix

I live in the suburbia, like many of us, in a relatively quiet town where cows still room the neighborhood, in designated areas off course, and the usual suspects, residents, often run into each other in the supermarket.

There are Senators and Mayors amongst the population and by all accounts it seems to be, well, secure. Yeah, but now a days one never knows as I am sure Madoff’s neighbors thought he was all that until he turned out to be a crook.

This is really one of these things that rattle me.

I run to Publix – our newly renovated and refurbished local supermarket after church yesterday to pick up some groceries, when I run into a situation that made me feel like I was on one of the episodes of the ABC show “Primetime: What Would You Do?”.

For those of you not familiar with the show, the series looks at what people will do in sticky situations. It is not about what they will say but what they will do; how they will act in the face of dilemmas testing their character and values. Using hidden cameras, the show sets up everyday scenarios and then captures people’s reactions. It is fair to say that most of those portraying the act are off course actors who are posing to unsuspected people like me but yesterday, to me, it was not an act or entertainment; it was real.

As I picked some fruits and was on my way to the cereal shelf and was going by the fish and meat section when I noticed two man, friends I suppose; bulky like, shanty looking, rusty, unshaved, hard drinker look and liquor smelly (I am not stereotyping this is just the way they look) dudes. One was buying fish while the other waited on the opposite side of the aisle.

The passageway is long enough for three carts; so even though, one of them was just standing there blocking part of it, there is enough space for extra carts to navigate.

I happened to be walking behind two beautiful young girls as they naively strolled by. I say girls (believed to be sisters; they resembled each other) because they could not have been no more then 15, going on 18 and 10 years old respectively.

As the girls appeared on his radar, the guy’s face – the one waiting for his friend – lit up as they approached. He intensely begun to piercingly and starvingly looking at them, as his head followed them each step of the way, as if he wanted to devour them, sexually pleasure himself and could not wait to have the older one on his arms. He was so fixated on the girls that he did not even notice that I was also engrossedly looking at his conduct as he unceremoniously pored over them. Once through with his make-believe voyage, he turned to his partner and they both quipped some off the cuff remarks. I could not hear the exchange frankly not because I could not but because I choose not to hear; I was not interested in learning about their weightless and sickening thoughts.

I know this look; I am familiar with this look; I have seen this look before.

I was so flabbergasted that I could not help but shake my head. I made sure they saw me hoping my action would embarrass them. But that did not work, so I spoke up. I told him that “You know, it was not right what you just did Mr.”

“What”, he replied!

“You know what you were doing; they are just kids!”, I said.

“Oh, they will grow older one day anyway?”, he hastily answered. I swear, I am not kidding; he said that to me.

Wait a minute; did he just say that to me? Did he just shove me down? I was expecting a different answer, like “I apologize madam” or “I was just joking”, something around the realm or not one at all. But to tell me, that they will grow older one day anyway; is he kidding me?

His answer perforated my soul with angst. I was so infuriated that fumes began to annihilate my brain instead of going through my nasals. At that point, to me at least, until he gave me that repugnant answer, it was no longer casual but of sexual intend. They both had “that” smirk in their faces. Granted, the older girl had on short shorts (we live in a tropical climate) and her rear-end resembles that of J-Lo, and the younger girl had on pants but none warranted that behavior.

I felt like confronting the man but decided to walk away instead; I could not afford a scene. I felt like complaining to the management and say what?

Let’s be honest, no one else heard him but me, how could I then justify my battle? They were not doing anything visibly inappropriate; nothing obviously that merited being forceful. It was however, the matter of how he glared at them; it was his response that disturbed me. It may have been the case of “boys will be boys” but nothing justified they not establishing the fact that they were two little girls. It made me pause and I still can’t shake that out.

I was still enraged when I turned left to the next aisle and bared my anger with the first lady I saw. She too could not believe it but had the best choice of words for them – “perverts”, she called them to later “it makes you wonder about people”, she added. Yet, the two of us did not summon enough courage to take that information any further. We both sat on it and went or marry ways. We made our silent noises, murmured around and that was it.

I was exasperated. It is not like he was making a pass at the little girl but he just as well could have. I remember being young once and feeling humiliated by the unflattering behavior when the “guys were being guys”. I know the feeling. It is worth mentioning that I run into the girls a few aisles down; they thanked me but I could not shake the feeling that they did not grasp the depth of the situation.

Pontifice Pope Benedict XVI, please!

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pope_benedict_xviFirstly, I would like to indicate that this piece is not intended to offend anyone but to illustrate the pretense, absurdity and implication of a statement.

Who better than me to address this issue? In earnest, my upbringing and propinquity propels me to and under the circumstances, it is academic; I speak with authority when I say: Mr. Pope what’s up; yeah, what’s up?

Perhaps, this is not the moment (it is Easter season after all) to thump my religion, yes I am a practicing catholic, and it is not my goal either but when I heard the latest from Pope Benedict XVI, I was left speechless and to ask, with all due respect Sir where is your sense of responsibility?

By virtue you are the leader of a religion, the Roman Catholic Church, an institution of specific core beliefs and values, idealized and followed and revered by many whom by all accounts sees you as man of great statue; hence, with the moral obligation to be choosy and parsimonious considering that your words, carries a lot of clout and weight.

My blood rose up and my head spun and I clung when I heard about the Pope’s latest toss; this time about AIDS and condoms.

Did I hear him right? Can someone please shoot me a pill if I am equivoqued, because I may need to be sterilized; no, not like that. I mean, the beat has been drumming for a while and the libretto traveling along, hand in hand, in concert raging the pot of doubters, rolling slowly, carving the mountain and band aiding the cracks of ignorance; a slew of work much fermented to the level where the world is today with this malady, and there he was.

Did he just say that the “use of condom actually will not solve AIDS?” C’mon Mr. Pope. This is me, your prodigal kid, born and raised, baptized and first, second and third communion completed; this is me, the daughter of a die-hard catholic couple – my mom attends church every single day; this is me, the one and only who until yesterday thought you were it; this is me, who still fasts prior to attending mass and this your response.

C’mon Mr. Pope, sorry, no insult here but you can’t know better; how could you but where is your sense of responsibility?

To be honest with you, I am confused; really I am confused because in one hand you advocate that all life are created equal; that life is precious and important and we should always value it regardless of its stages – hint, hint no abortion and no contraception; yet, you are telling millions not to give much credence to life after all by abstaining from using condoms. I mean how else can I file your statement or should I see you as one  mastermind grandstander and promoter of a brand, yourself. I mean whatever else is there to decipher?

Here you are pointing to the suffering humans that the biggest sin they committed was to have sex and worst gift they gave themselves, was to wear condoms. The fact that was even suggested and implied makes me pause.

This is really the message being disseminated to the world that the so-called plastic device they have been using to protect their wellbeing; that many have been advocating and professing to reduce the spread of the infectious disease, will not in any way, shape or form solve AIDS, I don’t know. Hum, it may not solve it but it may help right? Basically and with all due respect, you are indicating that people have the carte blanche to make a down payment or a lay-a-way plan on a burial plot. I mean, (I really love this word, I am meaning a lot) what in the world Mr. Pope!

On your way to Africa this week, a continent where manhood is measured by how they “have to feel” their mate; how a man is considered a man by how many women he can bang and how many children he can produce; this is a continent where a man is considered “supreme” virile by the power of his manhood; this is a continent where casual sex is considered a hobby, an activity; this is a continent where you do not make love, you have sex with as many random partners as you can obtain; this is a continent that has been immensely ravaged by the disease where daughters and sons are not being raised by mommies and daddies but grandmas, a disseminated generation totally obliterate but you unceremoniously put down the much advancements that have sustained the same policy you are deploring; it is besides me.

It is bad enough that organizations are fighting, promising anything and everything possible to convince the doubters and worriers that condom will protect them, and just now that they are breaking down barriers, making inroads, you throw them a lollipop. How irresponsible!

‘”You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane heading to Yaoundé. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”’ Speaking with authority of one who knows best and has a handle on the situation, his answer to the equation that “the responsible and moral attitude toward sex would help fight the disease.” You are joking right? Mr. Pope, don’t get me started. Why doesn’t he inject all the money that has been paid out to victims of sexual molestation into aiding his cause? I mean, we would have enough money to buy out a country and make it wholesome.

Obviously, you really do not understand, you have no idea what it means to have a combustive reaction Pontifice. This is what feels like when two sexual insatiated bodies’ fluids fuse and catch on fire; they burst out.

It is bad enough that all come to a screeching halt when the bell rings in the middle of one good tango (%$*&6$) and you are reminded to pull up the goods; now you decry us with one more slogan; have an honest attitude towards sex – reject the use of condoms against artificial contraception and fidelity in marriage and abstinence from premarital sex as key weapons in the fight against AIDS. Yeah, I can just see it, starving souls waiting in line to get a dose of an antidote of moral value; lifeless souls on a moribund marriages abstaining from infidelity; ok, whatever you say Mr. Pope, try that elsewhere. I guess you really haven’t been living in the 21st century. God if only my mother could hear me. As Bristol Palin said, preaching abstinence does not work. We all have physiological needs; it is how we approach it that can be the subject of individual discussion.

The Irony in a Box, The Octuplets’ Mom

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nadya_suleman

The mother of eight says that having children is what she ever wanted. Good, no argument there and more power to her! I am pleased she feverishly pursued and achieved her goal. I am also proud of her for taking the stance and having the courage to step forward with her conviction. Lovely! What else a single woman can want besides having an army of kids?! Brilliant! I am ecstatic; bring up the troops!

I mean, Nadya Suleman is to the money; she followed a picture perfect well choreographed script – pardon me, I can feel the beejebs niggling (mutating) in my petunia – so, why aren’t her comrades in chief, champions of the cause coming to her rescue? They should be smiling, tapping her on the back, kicking up their heels, dancing Macarena, hoopla, playing the bongo and the piper at the pier. They should be having a family feast, inviting the entire neighborhood, praying and tango to the celebration; instead everyone is silent. The temperature is so blue, the wind so spongy that I can even hear the aunts scavenging for food. Hummmm!

I am yet to hear from the Right to Life citizens or see them standing at hospital main entrance holding their idiomatic flags, standing firm with a grin of “I told you so” and acknowledging with an approval stamp that they have finally arrived?! I have yet to see the Right to Life soldiers and legions of sound followers brandishing their banners up, and spewing their acrimony lingo that they finally have their trophy. Where are they and why are they taking so long? I mean, it is not like she decided to abort the babies! It is not like she has terminated a few by using the process of elimination. It is not like she disappointed them. She delivered all, at once, like a rabbit; she had all 8 (her belly looked like glued stack of playdo) in one drop… “cow paw” and they were all out.

It was so endearing to see all the Drs and nurses who oversaw the delivery standing behind the podium, flaunting their Pepsodent smile, grinning ecstatically while announcing to the world that they had won the Powerball;( hoops! No, they helped to deliver eight tiny bundle of joy).

My first reaction was astonishment! I did not want to believe that it was even humanly possible a person carry eight flocks in her belly less again it stretching that far out – plastic surgeon heaven – and being able to carry it to term. But mostly, I was left to ask why, really why? Why was she willing to have them all at once, I mean there is nothing wrong with triplets or twins, one pair at time until you reach 14 like the Duggar from Rogers, Arkansas did!

I could not wait for the pictures; I was anxious to see what they looked like. I had this idea cocooned in my head but needed confirmation and just as I expected, they look just like that, baby “wabbits” but just bigger because let’s face it, one little stomach can only hold so much. I was not disappointed. They reminded me of the hours old baby rabbits I last saw on my parent’s farm; cute and cuddly – not that I am calling them rabbits at all.

At the beginning, there was jubilation (everybody clap your hands!) then it was shock and then bewilderment (say what?). And then there was the hospital personnel (good morning, I am Dr…and nurse so assisted on…) walking into the fray with Jumbotron smiles, mushroomed behind the podium on the path of camera view, flashbulbs here, flashbulbs there, one by one taking turns answering questions, explaining how the delivery went, how long it took, who was involved, which of the babies came first, which was last, their names (no one knew then), their weight, their genders and their mother (finally!). They wanted details and then some but no one was getting it; well at least not the juicy part. Nadya (very soothing name) was nowhere to be found and was kept out of the spotlight. We soon met her, first through her parents and then when she appeared on the interview on NBC.

Even though, there were indignation and concerns regarding the number of babies, people were willing to cut the mother some slack as everyone was still in shock, anesthetized and taken aback by the news. But things hastily went sour the instance the world was introduced, came to know the mother closely, and learned that she not only had the one’s she just gave birth to but six others (hit the buzzer please?!) making them a total of fourteen; fourteen little beings under the age of 7 enough for a basketball, soccer or handball, or maybe tennis (pairs) teams. It became apparent that it was not her first pregnancy but her third, all achieved via the in vitro fertilization (I hope she tied her tubes!) and that she has been receiving public assistance. Oh Lordy, she just incited a earthquake; if she even knew!

Soon it became “Oh my God”, “what was she thinking” or “how she is going to take care of them”! I don’t see the reason for the questions. She did exactly what the cause professes; she did exactly what the cause embalms; she had the babies; she did not “kill” any; she dropped them all, so where is the beef? Interesting to point that money (how much it cost to jump start the project) has never been point of contention (even though, we are in recession and could help caring for her kids) but the debate has been more on the brushstrokes of how dare her have all eight at one drop when she already has six others. My friends state that it is the whole attitude of how she went by to accomplish it and I am like which attitude? She wanted to be a mother and she chose this method and…?  She is definitely not getting any sympathy from a lot of folks.

Octuplets

Given that she has fulfilled the dogma modus operandi, what the crusade advocates, hence why is everyone up in arms as if she has committed the worse sacrilege in the face of this earth? Why are they so mortified, enraged – some leaving vitriolic and threatening calls to the point of her needing protection (added tax payer money)? I mean, she seems to truly care for the children. It is not like she appears postal; she seems to be genuinely (?) secured of her decision. She has had nine months to think about it after all. Why her impeding pregnancy event was not announced then until the babies were dropped, is besides me.

Where are the legions of churchgoers who preach and make some of us, see our graveyard just because we churn out “you are responsible and have the right to chose what you do with your own body”! Where are the defenders of “Roe vs Wade” who are adamant about the right to live at all costs and forms, and the principle that only their creed and no one else is right? Why aren’t they parading like Mardi Gras floats to help carrying for these babies? I thought that all brothers and sisters of the cause would be camping at her doorstep, lifting the banner and proclaim “power to the people”, yes we have arrived instead of commiserate silently? Where are you?

I have not seen anyone stepping out; I have not seen anyone coming forward!? Isn’t this the time for all to show the world the goods and what they are all about, come together and scream “Hell Mary”? Isn’t this the time for them to show that they really mean what they preach? Isn’t this the time for them to band in concert and support the cause, put their lectures into practice?  It is obvious she will need assistance, forget about the fact that she will not be able to do it alone; I am assuming, round the clock feeding, diaper changes, trips to the Dr; and then some. Grandma will not be the catalyst and the savior neither will calgon take her away. This is going to be one daycare center.

The right to life citizens should step up and march to their own drum, come clean! Why just swim when the tide is high and not when the river is low. This would be an excellent opportunity for them to prove that they are a force to be reckoned with, and they are serious in their cause. Don’t just talk the talk, do the walk too. Fess up and man up; time to show your cajones. Personally, I think she is over her head and not balancing all together but to each his own; who am I to judge.

Has she touched a nerve or what?!

Oh, I understand what the annoyance is! It is not printed on stone but behind the smelly, toxin-filled smoke waft from bellowing furnaces. The uprising is mostly because she is a single mother and with no daddy, yes no daddy at home. Therefore, the nuclear “family” is absent and her unconventional one does not count.  It is one or nothing, the father, the mother and the children?!

Reversal of fortune and irony of it, is that unbeknownst to many, the covert desertion of the Right to Life begins to nurture, something hardly gossiped, as soon as the alarm bell goes off. After the curtains dies down, everyone ghostly walks back to their respective homes, leaving the wounded to rotten alone. True to form, no one comes to pray, rescue or care to help after the seed is implanted. They should run up to and side with Nadya with open arms but the fact of the matter is that I have yet to see a member of the Right to Life people volunteering or be the flag barrier for the cause after the hoopla dies down. I do not see them marching on to take all the unwanted beings currently living in foster care or on the streets after they have been abandoned by their parents.

So who will suffer? The babies. The birthing of these kids akin the economical situation we are currently experiencing. Now that they are here what to do, something has to be done but what? Move them to a homeless shelter (now that the family is about to lose grandma’s apartment) or offer (because they can even afford that many diapers) them a home  – taxpayers to the rescue! I mean, I hate to say it but the government is already paying for the other six matters as well continue. She is in time of need and for the benefit and sanity of these kids we as society wanting or not, have the responsibility (it is a choice off course) to provide the minimal condition to help them grow and become good citizens.

But wait a minute, really, pretense aside; how dare her?! How selfish and unconsidered of her.  Now, we are left to pay for her misdeeds and calculated idiocy. No wonder why a war has been waged.

Funny, how things turned out. She really had a choice and followed through; the right to have her fourteen kids. What is the wise thing to do? Give them for adoption or put them in foster care before things go south. Not that I am anticipating adversity but the road is bound to be overwhelming. How long will the support team be available; there is if one is ever amassed? It is too much of a burden for only one woman to take care of.

It is interesting to note that a measure was just approved last week by the North Dakota House that gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being. I wonder what took them so long.  Yeah, I can see the embryo defending itself in the court of law and make decisions against the “predator” (oops, the mother – a stranger to me and you carrying a baby on her own womb). I think the family should move to North Dakota.