The Irony in a Box, The Octuplets’ Mom

nadya_suleman

The mother of eight says that having children is what she ever wanted. Good, no argument there and more power to her! I am pleased she feverishly pursued and achieved her goal. I am also proud of her for taking the stance and having the courage to step forward with her conviction. Lovely! What else a single woman can want besides having an army of kids?! Brilliant! I am ecstatic; bring up the troops!

I mean, Nadya Suleman is to the money; she followed a picture perfect well choreographed script – pardon me, I can feel the beejebs niggling (mutating) in my petunia – so, why aren’t her comrades in chief, champions of the cause coming to her rescue? They should be smiling, tapping her on the back, kicking up their heels, dancing Macarena, hoopla, playing the bongo and the piper at the pier. They should be having a family feast, inviting the entire neighborhood, praying and tango to the celebration; instead everyone is silent. The temperature is so blue, the wind so spongy that I can even hear the aunts scavenging for food. Hummmm!

I am yet to hear from the Right to Life citizens or see them standing at hospital main entrance holding their idiomatic flags, standing firm with a grin of “I told you so” and acknowledging with an approval stamp that they have finally arrived?! I have yet to see the Right to Life soldiers and legions of sound followers brandishing their banners up, and spewing their acrimony lingo that they finally have their trophy. Where are they and why are they taking so long? I mean, it is not like she decided to abort the babies! It is not like she has terminated a few by using the process of elimination. It is not like she disappointed them. She delivered all, at once, like a rabbit; she had all 8 (her belly looked like glued stack of playdo) in one drop… “cow paw” and they were all out.

It was so endearing to see all the Drs and nurses who oversaw the delivery standing behind the podium, flaunting their Pepsodent smile, grinning ecstatically while announcing to the world that they had won the Powerball;( hoops! No, they helped to deliver eight tiny bundle of joy).

My first reaction was astonishment! I did not want to believe that it was even humanly possible a person carry eight flocks in her belly less again it stretching that far out – plastic surgeon heaven – and being able to carry it to term. But mostly, I was left to ask why, really why? Why was she willing to have them all at once, I mean there is nothing wrong with triplets or twins, one pair at time until you reach 14 like the Duggar from Rogers, Arkansas did!

I could not wait for the pictures; I was anxious to see what they looked like. I had this idea cocooned in my head but needed confirmation and just as I expected, they look just like that, baby “wabbits” but just bigger because let’s face it, one little stomach can only hold so much. I was not disappointed. They reminded me of the hours old baby rabbits I last saw on my parent’s farm; cute and cuddly – not that I am calling them rabbits at all.

At the beginning, there was jubilation (everybody clap your hands!) then it was shock and then bewilderment (say what?). And then there was the hospital personnel (good morning, I am Dr…and nurse so assisted on…) walking into the fray with Jumbotron smiles, mushroomed behind the podium on the path of camera view, flashbulbs here, flashbulbs there, one by one taking turns answering questions, explaining how the delivery went, how long it took, who was involved, which of the babies came first, which was last, their names (no one knew then), their weight, their genders and their mother (finally!). They wanted details and then some but no one was getting it; well at least not the juicy part. Nadya (very soothing name) was nowhere to be found and was kept out of the spotlight. We soon met her, first through her parents and then when she appeared on the interview on NBC.

Even though, there were indignation and concerns regarding the number of babies, people were willing to cut the mother some slack as everyone was still in shock, anesthetized and taken aback by the news. But things hastily went sour the instance the world was introduced, came to know the mother closely, and learned that she not only had the one’s she just gave birth to but six others (hit the buzzer please?!) making them a total of fourteen; fourteen little beings under the age of 7 enough for a basketball, soccer or handball, or maybe tennis (pairs) teams. It became apparent that it was not her first pregnancy but her third, all achieved via the in vitro fertilization (I hope she tied her tubes!) and that she has been receiving public assistance. Oh Lordy, she just incited a earthquake; if she even knew!

Soon it became “Oh my God”, “what was she thinking” or “how she is going to take care of them”! I don’t see the reason for the questions. She did exactly what the cause professes; she did exactly what the cause embalms; she had the babies; she did not “kill” any; she dropped them all, so where is the beef? Interesting to point that money (how much it cost to jump start the project) has never been point of contention (even though, we are in recession and could help caring for her kids) but the debate has been more on the brushstrokes of how dare her have all eight at one drop when she already has six others. My friends state that it is the whole attitude of how she went by to accomplish it and I am like which attitude? She wanted to be a mother and she chose this method and…?  She is definitely not getting any sympathy from a lot of folks.

Octuplets

Given that she has fulfilled the dogma modus operandi, what the crusade advocates, hence why is everyone up in arms as if she has committed the worse sacrilege in the face of this earth? Why are they so mortified, enraged – some leaving vitriolic and threatening calls to the point of her needing protection (added tax payer money)? I mean, she seems to truly care for the children. It is not like she appears postal; she seems to be genuinely (?) secured of her decision. She has had nine months to think about it after all. Why her impeding pregnancy event was not announced then until the babies were dropped, is besides me.

Where are the legions of churchgoers who preach and make some of us, see our graveyard just because we churn out “you are responsible and have the right to chose what you do with your own body”! Where are the defenders of “Roe vs Wade” who are adamant about the right to live at all costs and forms, and the principle that only their creed and no one else is right? Why aren’t they parading like Mardi Gras floats to help carrying for these babies? I thought that all brothers and sisters of the cause would be camping at her doorstep, lifting the banner and proclaim “power to the people”, yes we have arrived instead of commiserate silently? Where are you?

I have not seen anyone stepping out; I have not seen anyone coming forward!? Isn’t this the time for all to show the world the goods and what they are all about, come together and scream “Hell Mary”? Isn’t this the time for them to show that they really mean what they preach? Isn’t this the time for them to band in concert and support the cause, put their lectures into practice?  It is obvious she will need assistance, forget about the fact that she will not be able to do it alone; I am assuming, round the clock feeding, diaper changes, trips to the Dr; and then some. Grandma will not be the catalyst and the savior neither will calgon take her away. This is going to be one daycare center.

The right to life citizens should step up and march to their own drum, come clean! Why just swim when the tide is high and not when the river is low. This would be an excellent opportunity for them to prove that they are a force to be reckoned with, and they are serious in their cause. Don’t just talk the talk, do the walk too. Fess up and man up; time to show your cajones. Personally, I think she is over her head and not balancing all together but to each his own; who am I to judge.

Has she touched a nerve or what?!

Oh, I understand what the annoyance is! It is not printed on stone but behind the smelly, toxin-filled smoke waft from bellowing furnaces. The uprising is mostly because she is a single mother and with no daddy, yes no daddy at home. Therefore, the nuclear “family” is absent and her unconventional one does not count.  It is one or nothing, the father, the mother and the children?!

Reversal of fortune and irony of it, is that unbeknownst to many, the covert desertion of the Right to Life begins to nurture, something hardly gossiped, as soon as the alarm bell goes off. After the curtains dies down, everyone ghostly walks back to their respective homes, leaving the wounded to rotten alone. True to form, no one comes to pray, rescue or care to help after the seed is implanted. They should run up to and side with Nadya with open arms but the fact of the matter is that I have yet to see a member of the Right to Life people volunteering or be the flag barrier for the cause after the hoopla dies down. I do not see them marching on to take all the unwanted beings currently living in foster care or on the streets after they have been abandoned by their parents.

So who will suffer? The babies. The birthing of these kids akin the economical situation we are currently experiencing. Now that they are here what to do, something has to be done but what? Move them to a homeless shelter (now that the family is about to lose grandma’s apartment) or offer (because they can even afford that many diapers) them a home  – taxpayers to the rescue! I mean, I hate to say it but the government is already paying for the other six matters as well continue. She is in time of need and for the benefit and sanity of these kids we as society wanting or not, have the responsibility (it is a choice off course) to provide the minimal condition to help them grow and become good citizens.

But wait a minute, really, pretense aside; how dare her?! How selfish and unconsidered of her.  Now, we are left to pay for her misdeeds and calculated idiocy. No wonder why a war has been waged.

Funny, how things turned out. She really had a choice and followed through; the right to have her fourteen kids. What is the wise thing to do? Give them for adoption or put them in foster care before things go south. Not that I am anticipating adversity but the road is bound to be overwhelming. How long will the support team be available; there is if one is ever amassed? It is too much of a burden for only one woman to take care of.

It is interesting to note that a measure was just approved last week by the North Dakota House that gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being. I wonder what took them so long.  Yeah, I can see the embryo defending itself in the court of law and make decisions against the “predator” (oops, the mother – a stranger to me and you carrying a baby on her own womb). I think the family should move to North Dakota.

A Note About “Phishing”

cellphone

Mind you that it was Sunday evening. Granted the Bank deserves the right to communicate with its customers whenever but on a Sunday?! My friends, you hear stories; you get frivolous emails akin to the ones from your long long Nigerian cousins (not!); you get chain letters and you brush them all aside to only react when and if it happens to you. By then, the light bulb and your wires are up blazing full throttle like tornado.

I was in the middle of my affairs when I received this text message that startled me. My immediate reaction was to call my bank which I did, as precaution, just to be certain but it may have perhaps been a tad superfluous!

I was fuming and considered calling the spoilers who annoyingly interrupted my serene evening.  I really wanted to stick it to them and send them to where the “sun don’t (not doesn’t) shine”, bark at the perpetrator, raffle and tell them like it is. I wanted to tell them this, and that I was on to them and… hoof (I am tired), but soon realized that if I wanted to make the call, it needed not to be to the malefactor but to the “big guys”.

Early in the day, I was in the supermarket and used my debit/ATM card, so the prospect of the number being stolen was unlikely (yeah right!) for the reasons that I closely guard my code like fortress (I have previously requested persons to move back a bit so I could discretely enter the code), people comings and goings, and besides the place is so well lit that it discourages (not!) even the most “professional” pickpocketer from thieving a tomato, let alone sixteen digits (great!) but these days, all is academic.

Hours after my trip, I received the following text message “Notice/ This is a automated message from NCUA. Your ATM card has been deactivated. To reactivate call urgent at: 515-678-9538. From: 5000”.

I made good on my first reaction, I called the Bank but after thinking it over concluded that I needed not to. C’mon, I only use my cellphone to bull…. and emergencies, so the answer was apparent; my habits should have been the key but nooooo, I ate it with my mouth wide open and lived to burp about it too!

I should have taken the message for the coupon it was worth; textmarketing (for lack of a better word) notoriously branded as phishing; instead, my trigger-happy fingers quickly charged off. I replied back in a jiffy with my own salvo, “Yeah right and I am calling the police”. But if I wasn’t such an airhead, I would have done the thinkable, the obvious in this 21st century, because when in doubt, google it! Perhaps, it could have saved me some aggravation but I was being fastidious.

The complaints were there; entries after entries; one by one, the victims were listed in details but I was saddened because there were no cigars; there were no answers other than a link to NCUA (National Credit Union Administration) http://www.ncua.gov/Phishing/phishing.htm. How fitting! How more genuine can a message be coming from them in particular?  I was suspicious because I still had to do the leg work. There wasn’t much there other then the recommendation to register my number with Do Not Call List.

Ok, I know, you got me! I can hear you from afar. I dialed the number back after all, not on the say day but two days later. I was curious and it is done! I was just being inquisitive and my action could have resulted on my number being moved to another carrier without my consent – at least that’s what they used to do back in the days. I did not get the response I was looking for, however. I was expecting and wished to receive an open and free for all voicemail so I could rant and spew my disgust but got the meager ad message instead, “You have reached three digits dot com. Get you free phone service today at three digits dot com”. That’s it? That’s all?

I did not call the police as I inferred, as the subject is more in line with consumer and credit, and not law enforcement; therefore the FCC, the same notable body that could not control Mr. Madoff. The call ended just as soon as the message started without me having the option of leaving a voicemail. Chickens! You can diss but you can’t take it. Nice going dudes! That’s what I call good fish “phishing”.

Why I Will Miss George W. Bush

bush_12

 

 

 

 

 

It is no secret to anyone that I harbor this huge crush on Bush. You may not be aware of, but Bush and I have this special thing going so indescribable that not even I can explain it. He gives me goosebumps, chills, I get butterflies and my heart pounds at hum of his voice; he really makes my day!

I don’t care what you have to say, how you feel, what you think; so to honor him, I decided to put a list of why I will so desperately miss him.

I will miss Bush for his athletics and cheerleading abilities;

I will miss Bush for his cowboy jeans and his cowboy hat;

I will miss Bush for I am a uniter not a divider and blue states and red states;

I will miss Bush for swift boat, un-American and unpatriotic;

I will miss Bush for Axes of Evil and Weapons of Mass Destruction;

I will miss Bush for alluring the chicken Democrats (60-40 votes) to go along with him on evading another sovereign nation;

I will miss Bush for either you are with us or against us;

I will miss Bush for I want him dead or alive and chock and awe;

I will miss Bush for France “changing french fries to freedom fries” and Dixie Chicks bashing;

I will miss Bush for Abu Ghraib prison and thousands of Iraqis dead;

I will miss Bush for Guantanamo Bay and complying with the Geneva conventions and torture???;

I will miss Bush for outing of Valerie Plame;

I will miss Bush for his ideology of ending tyranny and democratization of the world;

I will miss Bush for taking on the Palestinians and Israelis conflict;

I will miss Bush for Mission Accomplished and Mission Accomplished;

I will miss Bush for helping with Darfur conflict;

I will miss Bush for wiretapping and attorney general’s removals, for giving us Alberto Gonzales;

I will miss Bush for compassionate conservatism and hurricane Katrina;

I will miss Bush for bank fraud, mortgage meltdown, well…½ of it, the other ½ goes to democratic leaders;

I will miss Bush for articulating words and communicating so eloquently; his jargons, gaffes, misstatements, his bushisms;

I will miss Bush for his, oh for his dance moves, they were to die for;

I will miss Bush mostly for giving comedian’s good materials, it was brilliant;

I will miss Bush for the election of 2000. Yeah, it was a rip off, so what? Karma is really a bitch, isn’t it? But, I forgave and can’t wait for history books to read about his legacy but I digress, no time to look backward but forward. Let’s move on!

Oh lastly, I will not miss Bush for giving us Obama. He may end up not being perfect – there will not be any surprises during his four years term, considering that he does not have a lot riding on him especially when he does not give us any hope; hope to dream again.  So Obama take note; enjoy your honeymoon while it lasts, just don’t bed any kind (no, not Lewinski type but special interests groups) or start necessary wars because we will not turn on you in a flash. You will not have your plate full or a few more gray hair by the time you are done considering that you will not attempt to correct the mess being left to you.

With nothing else to spare I wave goodbye. I wave goodbye to you Bush for having brought this country together and moving this country forward! Although, it took eight years, yeah Bush it has been that long, it is cool and splendid to have our image and prestige back. We are not red or blue but purple state, united and not divided, not against but with everyone, and no longer feeling vilified for having difference of opinion.

To those of you who could not wait and were counting the days, hours and minutes, here he is going, going, gone at 12:00PM today January 20, 2009; for others who will miss him like me, hopefully I will catch up with his latest bushisms on his library website or on the talk circuit.

God speed my friend,

RIP.

Your hommie