life

No One is Talking About Snitching

/ ludlumdrive / Leave a comment

hairdress11
Paddles its feet at me.

I have heard and read stories but its red ink was never stamped in my forehead until it was featured in the latest biweekly bulletin of circus the salon soap opera talk. I needed not to wait for All My Children or the Young and The Restless as it was unceremoniously chafed on my nose on the day of this exchange.

Beauty salon reminds me of a bar; every patron invokes trash to its highest levels and has an opinion specially when inebriated. The tête-à-tête flows unapologetically, piercing unguarded with some rejoicing even if not invited. How the content is majored and perceived, whether or not it is worth taking seriously, depends on how much the listener is willing to give it credence and whether or not he/she is not high on something.

The topic of the conversation the other day – believe me, the river usually comes flooding, rising to its highest potential (from a balloon getting stuck in the mud to how many Pathfinder’s God drives) – was about “Dancing with the Stars”.

I don’t recall when the wind shifted but somehow the theme deviated and we all fail prey to it. We found ourselves stranded in one messy bowl of cereal. Everyone had an opinion about which of the three contestants would make it all the way. The consensus was that Melissa, Giles and Little Kim. But suddenly, the vibe brusquely turned to what “in the world” Queen Latifah was wearing.

Spits were flying through the roof on that one; from she looked like a drag queen to “huhuh”, to the latest four one one: “She is dyke”. “C’mon, the girl looks the part, you can tell. She better pay her beautician some really good money if she want her to keep quiet. That’s simple.”, one quipped.  “If she does not want her bunezz out”, someone countered.  “Ain’t that a trip?”, the other commented. The exchange was hilarious; I could not contain myself and must admit was s%&* in my pants.

Being that I was in a black saloon, it was more than fitting when the soiree shifted to Little Kim. “She is doing her thing, girl. She is representin”, the other lady noted. “She is really good and has come to her own. Right on sista!” Yehhh, hifive!

The dice was enthusiastically rolling when someone brought up Little Kim plastic surgery.

Lady 1: “Chilllld, she had plastic surgery?”

Lady 2: “Yeah child! Where have you been? Dontcha see how she looks kinda different now? She done something, I tell yah. She probably did a lot, chopped some parts, you can see it; her skin – chilld, she is a little whiter now, her face, her buttocks, it all look different; but she look goooood!”

Lady 3 – “Someone told me she had her face done; so now she looks Chinese.”

Lady 1: “Chinese? Ain’t she black? How she gonna look Chinese?”

Lady 3: “Yeah but her booty look good too and she is shakinnnn it! Kim Kardashin ain’t got nothing on her! Shake what yo mama gave yah.”

Lady 2: “Child! She is doing us proud. She look good dancinggg and I am loving it.”

Lady 1: “Wasn’t she in jail too?”

Lady 2: “Yeah girl, and she is dedicating the whole dance to them, her hoomies in penitentiary!”

Lady 1: “Ain’t that something. Why did she go to the big house again?”

Lady 3: “Because she ain’t going down with snitching; she did not want to tell on them. Girrrrl, don’t be telling on people’s bunezz, I would have done the same thing.”

Huh? Suddenly, the switch was turned on and things went sour on my side of the table. I could not help it and jumped in.

Me: “Wait a minute; so, you would rather go to jail then do the right thing?”

Lady 1: “Well, not really but if I say something, I know someone will be settin me up; so, I won’t say nutting. I keep my mouth shot.”

Me: “Yeah! She went to jail for lying, she went to jail because the feds had the evidence on tape. The tape does not lie remember? She was on tape, she was caught and you do not see anything wrong with her behavior? You do not see anything wrong with her action? Where is the value of life that you all so preach? ”

(Silence; total stillness. Suddenly, no one was moving; no one was talking. It felt like the electricity was turned off on the building. The electrical razor speedy Gonzalez train machine mamas just went into total darkness. Someone must have switched the mute button and forgot to tell me.)

The conversation no longer existed but one brave soul eventually adventured.

Lady 1: “Let’s say someone is trying to kill you if you say something; let’s say you know that if you open your mouth you will be dead, would you say something or keep quiet? ”

Me: “Why not? Why not be the courageous and brave soul, and tell the truth; why not? Take the case in Liberty City (a black neighborhood in Miami), nine kids were shot; two of them died mercifully in vein.
They were out enjoying the beautiful January night. There was an enormous crowd; tones of people standing on a street corner, playing dice when the bullets came flying. They saw the shootings; everyone run for cover but to this day, no one soul has come forward; not one soul have said a word. Politicians came pouring, screaming bloody hell that “we are killing our young; let’s march; stop the madness” to dissipate in the air as soon as the cameras were turned off.

A month later in the same neighborhood, a 10-month-old baby sitting on her father’s lap was shot dead while he played dominos. To this day no one has come forward; the killer has not been caught. So, you are telling me that it is all right, no need to call the police even if you know the accusers?!”

Lady 1: “And… what’s wrong with that? This is the environment they grew up in, they do not know any better; you say something you are next… ”

Me: “So, these murderers must go unpunished because no one dare to say a thing… oh, until it happens to you right? ”

Lady 1: “Yeah, probably; but right now, I have to protect my family and protecting I will keep quiet!”

While this exchange is taking place, Lady 2 and 3 kept numb, silent pretending not to be listening. They ignored the debate and turned their faces and ears to the other side, but I knew better, they were listening. It is not like we all moved; we were all sitting at the same location. Somehow the Dancing of the Stars went to Dancing of the Unknowns; they no longer had an opinion. Not to be undone and curious about my beautician’s opinion, I pulled her into the fray.

She too had a riveting explanation. Her logic was as follows: “what if your friend sees your husband with another woman and she tells you. You on the other hand, confront your husband. He lies to his teeth and says that your friend his wrong and turns her against you. He tells you he no longer wants you to have her as a friend; the situation gets uncomfortable and you don’t know what.”

(Huh?! Stop! What is she saying? First of all, there is no way anyone will ask me to stop being friends with someone just because… Let’s just say that the logic did not make any sense to me. So, I did not drive with it and I took a different route)

Me: “So, you are telling me that you would not say a word also?”

Beautician – “You damn right. No, not when my children and my family’s life are at play. I would not tell a word to the police or anyone else. Who to tell if the police is not on it too. They are probably involved and are part of it.

You see, this is the way it works. The policeman may know someone, who knows someone… word goes around, you say something to them and the next thing you know the whole community knows of it. It is the police; they are not to be trusted. You know, you have never been there. You don’t know where it is like living in that situation.”

(I agree, I do not but people are no longer brave to the right thing?)

Me: “So you would rather see the lives of these young people go in vein, just because… you would rather see a mother cry, suffer; so you would rather see the killer’s action go unpunished.”

No response; the wall was still thick but I kept on, exploring. So, I turned to Lady 2 and 3 who were restrainedly sitting in the corner, listening. I know I was being monitored (I could hear the hahha.. who does she think she is pulse) as their eyes and their faces said it all. They were rolling them; the ladies were communicating in codes, and I could see, and did not give a rats ass but yet privy and cognizant of their acions.

Me: “I completely understand what you are exerting but the logic of it really stinks; it just does not make any sense to me.”

Lady 2: “I understand because you were not brought up in it. You see kids are raising kids, no one is telling them right or wrong; no one is giving them directions. They have no values for nutting. Did they get the second kid yet? ”

She jump the broom again to another case in Broward county where this nice sixteen years old who was out and about for the first time past his curfew (with his mother’s consent so he could perform in a competition).

Just after attending a concert, he was killed by another teenager. They had already taken his valuables and without a care (we later learned it just for street creed) in the world, they killed him anyway. Yes, the kid lost his life for some stupid street creed.  At press time, the perpetrator and one of his accomplices (turned over by his mother – hurray to her) were caught but two others were still out.

Yet, even after the first kid was found to be the triggerman, a family member was on camera accusing the police of lying and fabricating stories. “Yoll wrong; my brother is innocent. The police did it. ”, she said. Ok!  Meanwhile the kid was all smiles on the day of his arraignment.

Me: “No, they are still looking for him. No one is talking.”

Yet, just the other day, another shooting, in the same neighborhood.  One by one the kids are dropping and the Russian roulette continues. Rumor has it, Joshua was accidentally killed by Tom. Apparently, they were talking and it led to altercation that led the gun to go off inadvertently.

So, Joshua’s peeps believing Tom was responsible for killing, did Tom in; thus the shootings while he was playing dice in the street corner. No one is talking; no one is saying a word; case unsolved right? Wrong, now here comes Tom’s peep going after (who they know is guilty but no one is talking) Joshua’s peeps.  No one is talking; no one is saying a word; case unsolved, a few hurt one dead. Not to be undone, Joshua’s peeps go after who did their peeps’ in and shot some of the Tom’s peeps (or whatever is left of it). No one is talking; no one is saying a word; case unsolved, a few hurt one dead.

I understand and am sympathetic to anyone’s cause and under the circumstances, I would have probably done the same – survival of the fittest but the logic of it just does not make any sense to me. It stinks!

Two days ago another shooting, around the same neighborhood, the same brand, driving by shooting. Innocent kids caught in the crossfire were rushed to the hospital; mad house, chaos, family crying foul, family crying for support, the community organizer showing up, “Where is the government? Where is the mayor? They have money to fund a stadium but do not have money to protect the few. A person can go to jail for killing a dog but not for killing a human being, a black kid.” Exactly! Hellllo?… NO ONE IS TALKING.

My Gyno Is Going Ghetto …

/ ludlumdrive / 5 Comments

enerdrinOr it is signs of the time.

Is recession also affecting the health care industry? I thought they were immune from it all. Last I heard, there were no nurses or doctors being layoff; so, why is my gyno displaying some design bottles on top of his office counter?

The three bottles were sitting on the left corner displaying like one of a kind seventy-two dollars Pinot Noir bottle.

It reminded me of the beauty salon I go to. You not only can buy hair products but hearings, handbags, dresses, belts, comforters, key chains, air spray, toys, homemade cakes, video games, bootlegged CD’s and videos (some movies still in the theater) man, I got tired of saying it, you name it, they have it. No need to leave your seat or the drier, just have your wallet ready. They come hammering. The door just opens up and one by one they come strolling with their arms or boxes adorned with merchandise. It is one amazing scenario to watch. Everyone is trying to make a buck and why not? Diversification!

enedrink

So, it was to my amazement that I visited my doctor’s office, who happened to be Jew and caught a glimpse of none other than three bottles of “Mona Vie”. Yes, Mona Vie. I am still trying to figure out who Mona is.

I could not help but ask one of the nurses about Mona.

I thought Mona was of alcoholic nature because it resembles a wine bottle but to my amusement, it turned out to be energy drink. Hooray, energy drink! But holly frijole, can someone please tell me why is my gyno an independent distributor of an energy drink? It is not like you need energy while laying down in that exam table or do you? Hum, kinda of think of it… never mind!

I did not get an answer because I simply did not ask and it is not to me to know. Simply put it, none of my business. But since Mr Curious who forgot that being curious killed the cat, was lurking like a coyote, I visited the website http://www.BrigHart.com and learned that the drink is a blend of fruits from Amazon and falls in the realm of Acai. Hum Acai, energy… What ever happened to Guarana?!

I still did not get the answer my question, why my corvette driving Jew doctor with that many years of experience was doing selling energy drink.

The Irony in a Box, The Octuplets’ Mom

/ ludlumdrive / 1 Comment

nadya_suleman

The mother of eight says that having children is what she ever wanted. Good, no argument there and more power to her! I am pleased she feverishly pursued and achieved her goal. I am also proud of her for taking the stance and having the courage to step forward with her conviction. Lovely! What else a single woman can want besides having an army of kids?! Brilliant! I am ecstatic; bring up the troops!

I mean, Nadya Suleman is to the money; she followed a picture perfect well choreographed script – pardon me, I can feel the beejebs niggling (mutating) in my petunia – so, why aren’t her comrades in chief, champions of the cause coming to her rescue? They should be smiling, tapping her on the back, kicking up their heels, dancing Macarena, hoopla, playing the bongo and the piper at the pier. They should be having a family feast, inviting the entire neighborhood, praying and tango to the celebration; instead everyone is silent. The temperature is so blue, the wind so spongy that I can even hear the aunts scavenging for food. Hummmm!

I am yet to hear from the Right to Life citizens or see them standing at hospital main entrance holding their idiomatic flags, standing firm with a grin of “I told you so” and acknowledging with an approval stamp that they have finally arrived?! I have yet to see the Right to Life soldiers and legions of sound followers brandishing their banners up, and spewing their acrimony lingo that they finally have their trophy. Where are they and why are they taking so long? I mean, it is not like she decided to abort the babies! It is not like she has terminated a few by using the process of elimination. It is not like she disappointed them. She delivered all, at once, like a rabbit; she had all 8 (her belly looked like glued stack of playdo) in one drop… “cow paw” and they were all out.

It was so endearing to see all the Drs and nurses who oversaw the delivery standing behind the podium, flaunting their Pepsodent smile, grinning ecstatically while announcing to the world that they had won the Powerball;( hoops! No, they helped to deliver eight tiny bundle of joy).

My first reaction was astonishment! I did not want to believe that it was even humanly possible a person carry eight flocks in her belly less again it stretching that far out – plastic surgeon heaven – and being able to carry it to term. But mostly, I was left to ask why, really why? Why was she willing to have them all at once, I mean there is nothing wrong with triplets or twins, one pair at time until you reach 14 like the Duggar from Rogers, Arkansas did!

I could not wait for the pictures; I was anxious to see what they looked like. I had this idea cocooned in my head but needed confirmation and just as I expected, they look just like that, baby “wabbits” but just bigger because let’s face it, one little stomach can only hold so much. I was not disappointed. They reminded me of the hours old baby rabbits I last saw on my parent’s farm; cute and cuddly – not that I am calling them rabbits at all.

At the beginning, there was jubilation (everybody clap your hands!) then it was shock and then bewilderment (say what?). And then there was the hospital personnel (good morning, I am Dr…and nurse so assisted on…) walking into the fray with Jumbotron smiles, mushroomed behind the podium on the path of camera view, flashbulbs here, flashbulbs there, one by one taking turns answering questions, explaining how the delivery went, how long it took, who was involved, which of the babies came first, which was last, their names (no one knew then), their weight, their genders and their mother (finally!). They wanted details and then some but no one was getting it; well at least not the juicy part. Nadya (very soothing name) was nowhere to be found and was kept out of the spotlight. We soon met her, first through her parents and then when she appeared on the interview on NBC.

Even though, there were indignation and concerns regarding the number of babies, people were willing to cut the mother some slack as everyone was still in shock, anesthetized and taken aback by the news. But things hastily went sour the instance the world was introduced, came to know the mother closely, and learned that she not only had the one’s she just gave birth to but six others (hit the buzzer please?!) making them a total of fourteen; fourteen little beings under the age of 7 enough for a basketball, soccer or handball, or maybe tennis (pairs) teams. It became apparent that it was not her first pregnancy but her third, all achieved via the in vitro fertilization (I hope she tied her tubes!) and that she has been receiving public assistance. Oh Lordy, she just incited a earthquake; if she even knew!

Soon it became “Oh my God”, “what was she thinking” or “how she is going to take care of them”! I don’t see the reason for the questions. She did exactly what the cause professes; she did exactly what the cause embalms; she had the babies; she did not “kill” any; she dropped them all, so where is the beef? Interesting to point that money (how much it cost to jump start the project) has never been point of contention (even though, we are in recession and could help caring for her kids) but the debate has been more on the brushstrokes of how dare her have all eight at one drop when she already has six others. My friends state that it is the whole attitude of how she went by to accomplish it and I am like which attitude? She wanted to be a mother and she chose this method and…?  She is definitely not getting any sympathy from a lot of folks.

Octuplets

Given that she has fulfilled the dogma modus operandi, what the crusade advocates, hence why is everyone up in arms as if she has committed the worse sacrilege in the face of this earth? Why are they so mortified, enraged – some leaving vitriolic and threatening calls to the point of her needing protection (added tax payer money)? I mean, she seems to truly care for the children. It is not like she appears postal; she seems to be genuinely (?) secured of her decision. She has had nine months to think about it after all. Why her impeding pregnancy event was not announced then until the babies were dropped, is besides me.

Where are the legions of churchgoers who preach and make some of us, see our graveyard just because we churn out “you are responsible and have the right to chose what you do with your own body”! Where are the defenders of “Roe vs Wade” who are adamant about the right to live at all costs and forms, and the principle that only their creed and no one else is right? Why aren’t they parading like Mardi Gras floats to help carrying for these babies? I thought that all brothers and sisters of the cause would be camping at her doorstep, lifting the banner and proclaim “power to the people”, yes we have arrived instead of commiserate silently? Where are you?

I have not seen anyone stepping out; I have not seen anyone coming forward!? Isn’t this the time for all to show the world the goods and what they are all about, come together and scream “Hell Mary”? Isn’t this the time for them to show that they really mean what they preach? Isn’t this the time for them to band in concert and support the cause, put their lectures into practice?  It is obvious she will need assistance, forget about the fact that she will not be able to do it alone; I am assuming, round the clock feeding, diaper changes, trips to the Dr; and then some. Grandma will not be the catalyst and the savior neither will calgon take her away. This is going to be one daycare center.

The right to life citizens should step up and march to their own drum, come clean! Why just swim when the tide is high and not when the river is low. This would be an excellent opportunity for them to prove that they are a force to be reckoned with, and they are serious in their cause. Don’t just talk the talk, do the walk too. Fess up and man up; time to show your cajones. Personally, I think she is over her head and not balancing all together but to each his own; who am I to judge.

Has she touched a nerve or what?!

Oh, I understand what the annoyance is! It is not printed on stone but behind the smelly, toxin-filled smoke waft from bellowing furnaces. The uprising is mostly because she is a single mother and with no daddy, yes no daddy at home. Therefore, the nuclear “family” is absent and her unconventional one does not count.  It is one or nothing, the father, the mother and the children?!

Reversal of fortune and irony of it, is that unbeknownst to many, the covert desertion of the Right to Life begins to nurture, something hardly gossiped, as soon as the alarm bell goes off. After the curtains dies down, everyone ghostly walks back to their respective homes, leaving the wounded to rotten alone. True to form, no one comes to pray, rescue or care to help after the seed is implanted. They should run up to and side with Nadya with open arms but the fact of the matter is that I have yet to see a member of the Right to Life people volunteering or be the flag barrier for the cause after the hoopla dies down. I do not see them marching on to take all the unwanted beings currently living in foster care or on the streets after they have been abandoned by their parents.

So who will suffer? The babies. The birthing of these kids akin the economical situation we are currently experiencing. Now that they are here what to do, something has to be done but what? Move them to a homeless shelter (now that the family is about to lose grandma’s apartment) or offer (because they can even afford that many diapers) them a home  – taxpayers to the rescue! I mean, I hate to say it but the government is already paying for the other six matters as well continue. She is in time of need and for the benefit and sanity of these kids we as society wanting or not, have the responsibility (it is a choice off course) to provide the minimal condition to help them grow and become good citizens.

But wait a minute, really, pretense aside; how dare her?! How selfish and unconsidered of her.  Now, we are left to pay for her misdeeds and calculated idiocy. No wonder why a war has been waged.

Funny, how things turned out. She really had a choice and followed through; the right to have her fourteen kids. What is the wise thing to do? Give them for adoption or put them in foster care before things go south. Not that I am anticipating adversity but the road is bound to be overwhelming. How long will the support team be available; there is if one is ever amassed? It is too much of a burden for only one woman to take care of.

It is interesting to note that a measure was just approved last week by the North Dakota House that gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being. I wonder what took them so long.  Yeah, I can see the embryo defending itself in the court of law and make decisions against the “predator” (oops, the mother – a stranger to me and you carrying a baby on her own womb). I think the family should move to North Dakota.