And because life is filled of adulterated mushrooms. It blooms indiscriminately. Just because you know about it, it doesn’t mean you can go. Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should. Life is full of promises and rewards, bringing joy always as altruistic as it may sound. Just because you are not there yet, it doesn’t mean it is not coming, giving up is not an option or you will never get there. You will, in due time, at strike of that right jingle and boombox speaker. At snail pace dictated by the rabbit hole. Keep playing, climbing the mountain without peaking at the moon or celebrate dark alleys. Stay often in state of gratitude as tomorrow is never promised but here. Don’t blink but be fully dressed for the occasion, the unexpected blue sky and fresh aroma in the midst of one torrential rain hip pop dance number.
I woke one day in January of 2020, had all maped out, how exciting the year was going to be and then… It was supposed to be the year of the Rat and and what a rat it became. Who knew the beast would live up to its name.
I knew confiment was going to be hard for some people, especially those who live alone or the party animals. The square root of a room became one decorated prison cell. Yeah, try telling your brain that but since I have been in my version of the acid trip, pandemic didn’t turned out to be all that bad. It did not phase me one bit and compounded with the excitement of the election year, couch had my name spelled all over. Bring it on boo.
I loaded on all the essentials, Cabbage Patch Kids had nothing on them at the supermarket, rolled the dice and embraced confinement; the intricacies were my muse. I rarely adventure out of my house for nothing until I came out to realize the virus wasn’t going to greet me by my door, sort of speak, so I came out my cocoon to get some sun.
I began to entertain myself, let go of my inhibitions, let the world in and let my talents lose. No, I may not become that famous singer but singing I was. I may not become that famous comedian but putting up funny videos or stories I was putting out. I may not become that famous chef but videos of my cooking whatever I was sharing. Ina Garten I wasn’t but queen of leftovers I became, mixing and matching, creating whatever was left to make a meal and nothing go to waste queen until the kitchen screamed, no mas.
I embraced Netflix like we were girlfriends. I digged down the bottle of my library to discover unread books and devoured them like pumpkin pies. And yes, I went nuts on 45 just because the theater was closed and a clown was on the prawl.
But overall, I took time rediscover self that no matter how nuts the world is or could be, I am resilient, strong and smiling I was everyday no matter what. I surrounded it all to Him. I gave myself permission to let lose and let go, no longer be the shy or diplomat.
I learned that I like to smile and laugh a lot, and it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Life is not all it crap out to be and silence, stillness is not for the faint of hearts but a much needed apparatus.
I learned the true meaning of family, friendships; people are not written in stone. There were some disappointments but oh well, it is life as true selves emerged in time of crossroads.
Human beings are being tested to their cores, the world, we are being tested with unprecedented deaths, a plague many don’t seem to grasp its magnitude and tentacles, some learned are learning lessons and others got stuck at the railroad. The world stopped, nature, earth came alive, emerged, became brighter. Some understood its transformation, its essence and appreciated its beauty and others didn’t and so be it. We are not one in the same. It is life in a nutshell. Personally, I am still trekking and trekking I will be in the new year, expecting the unexpected.
To you, us I hope the better comes forth and takes over, common sense prevails and becomes the driver of the new trip we are about to embark on. Happy New Year to you and yours. May it be filled with abundant love and blessings, love, health and gratitude. Here is to 2021, Cheers!
Dear God, I am trying to navigate, learn to trust, be patient, confident, have faith in tomorrow as you have prescribed but I seem to often ran out of script and straight to that peculiar box. Time and again, I find myself in the river swimming, fighting against the large ocean currents that only a truck full of cockroaches can deliver. It has been a challenge, I may add. I thought I was brave, built like The Rock but like a clock, wound up caving in, flipping at sign of a hot burning pot when the pump kept going, screaming my lungs out for the world to hear, to no avail. So I wave, do the hockey pokey dance like a dog with a tail in between its legs, put the mascara on but half way through the walking machine defeat parade, I wake up from the rubble to clap an Alleluia give me something fuerte, I am still alive, can you hear me?! The road is a tad narrow, crowded, with endless curves and adjacent noisy streets but I urge you to be a wee bit understanding as I plod through the gravels, leaving a black patch on my wounded foot. Sitting at curbside, I felt the wind going by, blowing the seat cover that has been my existence, emerging from the ashes I left behind. Signed, the birdman!
ludlum drive 
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