The Fanatic I Miss

June, 2007

I usually go nuts for the World Cup—it’s always been one of those moments that brings out pure excitement in me. But for the first time in my life, I’m finding it hard to feel that same spark, strangely detached from it. The excitement just isn’t there. All the noise and nonsense around it have taken away some of the magic.

Maybe, though, it’s something more personal. The truth is that this is my first World Cup in many years without my sidekick—my husband. There’s no one to share the anticipation with, no one to cheer, scream, laugh, run like a wild goose and live every moment alongside me. For so many years, the World Cup wasn’t just about football—it was about who I experienced it with.

Now, as it approaches— well, it begins today—, I can’t help but feel nostalgic. So many memories come flooding back, and the absence feels louder than the tournament itself. Everything seems a little quieter, a little emptier. The excitement that used to build naturally just isn’t there, and neither is the motivation that came with it.

Still, I’ll try to enjoy it the best way I can—creating my own wild audience of one, loud enough to make any neighbor reach for earplugs or consider moving away. Some things change, and some people leave behind a space that can never truly be filled, but the memories remain.

Maybe it won’t feel the same this time, and maybe that’s okay. Yet I’ll be watching with a heavy heart, missing the voice beside me, the laughter that echoed through every match, and the joy we shared. I’ll miss the awkward but hilarious dances whenever his favorite team scored, or when a player dribbled past defenders, pulled off a brilliant trick, and delivered a perfect pass. Those moments made every World Cup unforgettable—not just because of the game itself, but because of who I shared it with: a fanatic of the game! Tomorrow and the day after, and after, I will beglued to the TV for sure. Let the games begin…

Not Yours to Open

Life has started to feel like a string of disappointments. Whether it’s betrayal or quiet letdowns, I keep finding myself questioning people and their sense of respect.

I learned through a friend that a mutual friend was traveling overseas to a country he now calls home, and I saw an opportunity. I needed to send something important—something I wanted to make sure would actually arrive, especially after a previous package I sent via the post office, had disappeared without a trace. He seemed like the perfect person to carry it; I trusted him enough to put this in his hands.

Then came the stress. I was told it needed to arrive before a certain hour, as mail delivery to their home would be suspended after that date and time. I paid for three-day shipping, expecting it to arrive on Saturday. It didn’t. I kept checking the tracking obsessively, watching every update and hoping it would move faster, but it stayed in transit. What should have taken three days dragged on longer, and all I could do was wait and worry.

It finally arrived at the last possible moment—Monday around 3 PM. He was supposedly leaving for the airport at 5, though I never understood the timing since the plane wasn’t scheduled to take off until 10:30 PM and he and his wife live only half an hour away. It didn’t make much sense, but I wasn’t the one traveling.

I called him to update him on the package’s status. It had arrived. At first, he said it wasn’t there. I insisted he check again. When he did, he realized it was just an envelope, not the box he had imagined. I found that odd, since I had always mentioned it was an envelope. He brushed it off, said he’d make space for it, and that he’d pass it along once he arrived. I even told him plainly—it was just a T-shirt. Nothing complicated. Nothing suspicious.

And yet, despite all of that, he still chose to open it.

He opened it.

I was furious.

That’s the part that matters. There was no reason to open that package. His justification was that he might be questioned at the airport or that it could be something suspicious. Really? It had already gone through multiple postal facilities before it ever reached him. If there had been any doubt, curiosity, or concern, all he had to do was ask. If there were any real issue, the postal system would have flagged it. I was one phone call away. Instead, he made a choice—to ignore what I told him and cross a boundary that wasn’t his to cross.

I had already told him what was inside, and still, he opened both envelopes. Not out of necessity, but out of disregard. It wasn’t just one envelope—inside the postal envelope was another, a brown one. That decision says more than any explanation ever could. It reflects a lack of respect, a lack of boundaries, and a willingness to act without consideration.

It’s also a reminder. He was a friend, but not a close one—not someone I would go out of my way to check on. He’s a childhood acquaintance, someone I had already chosen to distance myself from due to his unreliable behavior. That distance should have remained. Some behaviors are simply intolerable. Moments like this don’t confuse me—they confirm what I already know.

Still, I’ll give credit where it’s due. He took the package with him, and I appreciate that. But appreciation doesn’t erase what this revealed. Would I trust him again? I doubt it. The trust is broken.

What’s Meant Will Meet You

Life is layered, full of things that appear before their meaning becomes clear. Just because something is within your awareness doesn’t mean it’s yours to pursue right now. Timing matters. Growth matters. And often, what’s meant for you waits until you’re ready to meet it.

There are promises woven into the path, even when they’re not obvious. Rewards don’t always arrive when you expect them, but that doesn’t make them any less real. Delay isn’t denial—it’s preparation. Every step, even the uncertain ones, is shaping you into someone who can receive what’s coming without hesitation.

Gratitude keeps you steady in the in-between. It reminds you that even now, there’s something working in your favor. The future isn’t guaranteed in the way people like to imagine, but opportunity is always forming, always approaching. Your role is to stay open, aware, and ready.

So carry yourself with quiet confidence. Trust that your moment will come, and when it does, meet it fully—no doubt, no hesitation. Celebrate yourself, your journey, and the life you’re building. And above all, keep listening to that inner voice. It doesn’t shout, but it knows.