Sins and Confessions

I was still in diapers when I last paid a visit to a priest to confess.  I was this little and remember spilling my soul to him at the time when everything and anything that was said and told to me, was hastily performed without a grain of salt or challenge.

Today, I am under the creed that anything and everything is questioned, and only executed after careful observation and thought. Meaning, I will talk to God directly if I want my head examined or my soul forgiven instead of an intermediary.

I cannot see nor imagine me kneeling down in front of a priest or in a room at church, and spill my soul to a man. Perhaps, there will be the day when I will run to a priest searching for forgiveness but I am not there yet and if that ever happen, I will need to first define what I consider to be sin.

So in view of that I thought about a “what if” perfect confession scenario. What if I was ambushed by a bunch of nuns and taken to a convent, led to the steps of a tree, blindfolded and told to open my eyes only to see a priest in front of me. How would I react? How would the conversation go? I can just imagine how the memorable exchange would be.

Priest – Hello there how are you?
Me – Oh, wow, hello!
Priest – How can I help you?
Me – How can you help me?!
Priest – Yeah, how can I help you?!
Me – How can you help me?! What do you want to know?!
Priest – Nothing, you should tell me.
Me – Honestly, I have no idea, I have nothing to confess.
Priest – Hum…
Me – No sin, I have been good. Do you?
(Perhaps, I really need help.  I am still trying to figure out how he is going to help me )
Priest – I understand that.
Me – Ok, thank you. Can I go now?!
Priest – So, how was your day?
(Lord, he is still insisting.)
Me – Mine?! Fine and yours?
Priest – You are here…
Me – I am listening but honestly, I am good!
Priest – Let’s enjoy and experience the life of Christ and..
Me – I spoke to God today and he said I was good.
Priest – Ok…
How is your family, everything is ok, your kids… home life…
(My kids.. ok.)
Me – All is good. Seriously, life is good. I can’t complain. Life is taking its due curse…
Priest – Its due curse…
Me – Yes… oh yeah, we can pray for that.
Priest – Yes, let’s pray!
So, we hold hands and we pray.

I wonder if my sin would be repented? Perhaps, just as the same as the next mafia dude. So, my skepticism continues…

I thought I was done with my confession episode until I heard the Vatican Canon Law Adviser criticizing Governor Cuomo of New York for taking holy communion because he is shaking up with his girlfriend, celebrity chef Sandra Lee. Per Dr. Edward Peters, a top expert in Catholic Church law and a consultant to the highest court at the Vatican, Cuomo is publicly acting in violation of Canon 915, a fundamental moral expectation of the Church,” and that “as long as he persists in such conduct, he should refrain from taking Holy Communion”.

Oh no, that’s a big no no. He is living in sin alright!

But Mr Law Advisor, please advise if so called violation also includes those who inappropriately touched kids and knew about it and didn’t say a word or the ones who actually knew about it but hid behind the bushes? My take on this, it should be included but in the eyes of the church, it is not. So, my suggestion to Mr Cuomo there is if he is ever refrained from taking communion at his church, he should stick his hands inside of the bowl, take the wafer and administer the communion to himself. I wish Dr. Edward Peters would confess to his own sins because I surely would confess to this one.


Second Chance, The Poem

Fantasy became reality before my eyes:
a soft flower piercing below my chin
a fly in my wing to a miracle reunion.
Pondering the journey
I walked perpendicular to the velvet hotel corridor.
Possessed by own fear
I pondered the outcome,
melting away anxiously
trying to find the courage to embrace the reunion
with the one who got away many lights before.
As I methodically counted each of the steps
consciously drifting away from the excitement,
I tried to block him out of mind
clenching my fist, mulling over the fortunate change I had
to reunite with the precious stone I genuinely loved.
Wanting to stop by a liquor store,
to throw away my fears,
I temporarily wavered back into a corner
swinging back and forth into memories –
a stingy steps from a plunge, the door.
The mailman delivered the exciting news that
my prayers had been answered:
my charming prince, my first great love was hear.
Breaking away in a sweat
I nervously reached for my scrambled spongy heart
unraveling whether the terrain was still sparkling.
Believing in love and romance,
I longed to summon up the puberty
the punishing desire carried in the ferocious first kiss.
Hunting for the perfect ending
we sized each other up.
He stared at me, I stared at him without a word, without a say
just us breathing.
With my knees quavering uncontrollably
I runt to him, he ran to me
tossing our arms around like dogs in heat.
Overwhelmed, I froze,
His eyes looking straight at me
our lips locked in a tender juicy kiss
weakening my body, tossing me away like the wind.
We smiled gently striking the sun, not letting go
realigning our startling story,
I cried uncontrollably re-discovering love once more.

© Raining in May