I honestly don’t get what the whole hoopla is all about “Are you Mom Enough?”?! Is it because the mother is cute, sexy and attractive or the child is looking elsewhere while seductively sucking on his mother’s breast or the pleasantly sexual overtone pose it appears to propagate that is driving everyone bananas?
To each his own!
I mean, if the mother wants to nurse her almost four years old grown child who should have teeth by now, (I hope he does, otherwise we will need to call the ghostbusters), goes potty by himself, no longer wears diapers, (that would have been a whole other story if he still wears them), asks for water, milk or juice, bites on a loaf of bread, plays with Superman and not Fisher-Price go baby go poppity pop musical din toys, coloring book, puts his own shoes, dresses himself and perhaps have a few choice words for his mother, more power to her. Better yet, God bless her!
I am not an expert but am of the opinion that the click on my mousse is making a peculiar sound, the screw on my table is a little lose somewhere but somehow, she is sound.
Who am I to judge?!
Attachment parenting?! Last I heard, the method is also be used as birth control. I don’t know. I have no answers. Perhaps, Alexis Bellino from the Real Housewives of Orange County has it. Perhaps, she can explain it in layman’s terms, a language some of us can understand.
Knock knock are you there? Yes, you… husband, boyfriend, partner? I mean, we aren’t in the candy story anymore, so, aren’t you… do I say more? Never mind, at least I hoped… you were a couple!
The truth of the matter is that the subject hit too close for some and for this reason alone, it is not cool! C’mon, talk about it but no pictures please. Talk about it but don’t make the cover of a magazine. Talk about it but mom please, use something to cover your breast. I really don’t need to see your son sucking on your… amusement park! Then again, like Bobby Brown said, pardon me Whitney, it is her prerogative!
I confessed, I cringed the day my friend invited us to go see a tree. I rolled my eyes and found it hilarious. Me, going to see a tree? I see trees everyday, everywhere. That’s unheard of! The fact that it was even being proposed, was hysterical.
It was hot and muggy, sweltering kind of summer day! A day I yearned for a cool room and not the outdoors. I pictured myself indoors in an air conditioning room and not out gazing at any tree, let alone a big tree.
“What tree?” I asked and I quietly remarked, “Lord, what’s so special about the tree?”
“It is not any tree, it is the “Big Tree”, “The Senator”, she said.
“Big Tree…”, I muttered
“Have you ever heard about Sequoias over in California? It is from the same family and it has been around for years, more then three thousand years”. She added.
Oh God, I am about to go see a tree that has been around for three thousand years. It better be good. It better possess supernatural powers. I hoped it used its branches as a magic wand and cure me from the insane trip I was about to venture into. Why? Why? Why?… “What did I do to deserve this? This better be good!”, I murmured to myself.
My ignorant self paused for a second and reflected. Perhaps, I was freaking out and being a tutee for no reason. She said three thousand years, like in three plus zeros, zeros, zeros, like in more then one million ninety nine five thousand days and the thing was still alive, right?! I mean, it wouldn’t take a fool long enough to realize that it was significant! I caved in.
Curiosity suddenly took over and sucked me in with its tentacles. The need to learn. To know. To educate was persuasive. They became strong antidotes then my desire to stay at home in a cool room. I was going to see The Tree, its leaves, branches, trunks and roots. I wished it told stories and had pictures to share.
I still had the word “tree” pinned in my forehead as we drove to the park. The trip was uneventful, akin to me taking the next train home. I pondered about my misguided thoughts, misjudging its relevance as I fail to put its historical context into perspective, tumbling miserably at the unscripted interpretation of judging a book by its cover. I reminded myself that there was something more then met the eyes then a stuck up plant with handsome stems. The problem was that I conjectured it to be an ordinary tree as soon as I heard the word, tree. So, any chance of me making the trip memorable was slim to none.
I needed to rid off my judgment blinders.
I did not snap any pictures but hoped the tree told stories. I walked around dissecting it, hoping to find what, I don’t know but something to reassure me that all was alright, to prove me wrong. Just as fast I walked in, just as fast I retreated to my unguarded thought, back to my gutless fetal position! I was more obsessed with the bugs that were eating me alive, trying to fend them off then the event itself. So, the thought of going back to my air conditioning room, was once again alluring and became apparent as I did not intend to spend longer then 5 seconds gazing at the tree.
Fast forward to a few years later. I was visiting, this time with a few friends, when my friend suggested that we go see the Big Tree once again. Wait, hold your horses body! No need for high blood pressure here. I did not even cringe this time. I was excited, jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store. I was the first up and ready to go; perhaps, the weather had something to do with it.
It was winter, a cold, rainy, ugly day. A day anyone with any sense would not hesitate but suggest to stay home, lay in bed and count the stars. A gray winter coat kind of a day but it didn’t matter, we had an agenda and marching on, we did.
We arrived at the place and I could not help but notice that there was barely a car. The place was deserted, not even a soul. Maybe, people were hiding in the bushes ready to scream “Surprise!” to us. Why does it sound familiar?!
We had the whole place to ourselves and as we began walking through the trail, I began paying more attention to her particulars as her presence came into view. Mind you she could be a he as far as I was concerned but made it easy for myself and preferred to refer to her as she, stood alone. Tall, elegant, manicured, surrounded by bushes sitting in the middle of nowhere. Her height, her size, her history side by side dragging along.
I stood there fixated, observing, waiting for her to tell me stories. What she saw in the years past. What she heard. What it felt like being around all these years and live to tell about it? Who kissed her. Who kissed who. Who came by. What time they came. How long they stayed if they told her stories at all. I wanted her to describe the weather back in the stone ages, the temperature back in January 1875, the news, what was trending, if any at all? I questioned her about fashion, what it was like, what made her gorgeous? I mean, what kind girl would I be if I had not pinned the most sough-after question somewhere in the middle of my questionnaire? Did they walk, did they drive, did they bike? What cars folks drove back then, which color, which make? There were so many questions traveling through my brain that it overloaded my thoughts but there no answers. She didn’t say a word. She stood numb, quiet, like an elegant statuette, a green tour Eiffel. I guess her pride superseded her.
She stood erected, piercing, gazing at yesterday and tomorrow, majestic. I, on the other hand, tensed, curious, anxious. I hungered for her to burst from her shell, park her shyness, pull her diary, freak out and tell us straight, to go away and leave her alone. But no, she just stood there, motionless, like a tree that she was refusing to surrender, to share historical events that she had experienced and many can only read.
Yeah, it could only be! I woke up from my dream just in time and reminded myself that she was only a tree and not a being. An old tree without diapers or dentures, gray hair, arthritis or osteoporosis. An old tree that refused to die and defied the odds and was around for all well earned three thousand and four hundred years, oh Lord that’s a lot burgers, until some nuttiness did her in. Yes, someone did her in. http://www.wesh.com/hometest/30562154/detail.html
One early morning, there were no answers but questions. There were not stories but a story as she came to on January 16 inflicted by a regular who went to the site to use drugs and lit it her on fire. Today, The Senator sits in ruins, naked, smoldered, flustered by her demise. Tragic but it finally registered with me that I had been to places, glanced up at the wardrobes, spoken languages, danced to the drums of many who came to pay her a visit. I had a ball and was in awe that I had witnessed history. RIP Big Tree!
There were many stories that jiffed my tube this year but these are the ones that wiggled me. Yeah, thank you LMFAO for having made wiggle a must have word in my dictionary!
On January 23, Cavaco Silva is reelected President again in Portugal with a big margin. A sign of things to come.
Cavaco Silva
The earth went berserk and showed us who is in charge. It trembled with earthquakes in Alaska, New Zealand and Australia. It saw the power of water with the tsunami in Japan. It twisted like potatoes with tornadoes in Alabama that killed 238 residents. It teared down with the floods in Australia and Brazil displacing and killing many. It iced down like ice cubes with twenty inches of snow that buried cars everywhere and as if it was not enough, the earth cries in the Philippines as the death toll from current storm tops 1,400. The northeast of US was rattled by an earthquake and an hurricane, and thought they were watching the History channel.
Japan Tsunami
The arabs did the twist and danced the macarena, and booted dictators (Zine El Abidine Ben Ali in Tunisia, Moammar Gadhafi in Lybia, who would have thought; Mubarak in Egypt, Ali Abdullah Saleh inYemen) out of the office like pancakes to what has become known as the Arab Spring but Castro is still down after years of embargo. Humm, his little peep Chavez is trying to pimp his mantra but the walls are painted gray.
Arab Protest
The US and the world went to sleep one day intoxicatedly happy as the world learned that Osama Bin Laden no longer was wanted Dead or Alive but had been TKO in style by the awesomeness of some ninjas dudes. It was a good day indeed!
Gabriela Gifford
Congresswoman Gabriela Gifford made an extraordinary recovery having been shot in the head by a mad man but it did not stop her from seeing her husband Mark Kelly off to pilot Endeavour on its final mission. Shuttle Atlantis brought the US space program to a close.
The nation observed the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and the rebirth of the area, as we could barely contain ourselves, the Iraq War was finally over! Meanwhile, the peaceful Norway stopped handing out Nobel Prizes and saw its first violent act in the name of Anders Behring Breivik. Bystanders on their way to their everyday lives are caught in the act in a big way by pulling a guy out from under a burning car in Utah!
September Eleven
The legal case and the name Casey Anthony who was found innocent in the trial for the murder of her two-year-old daughter Caylee, became a pi in a pie, an explosion of measurable proportion that Nancy Grace, the Superwoman of righteousness, had a name for it, tot mom. She is further looking for applications for her one woman show. The innocent until proven guilty shall not apply!
Casey Anthony
In the scandal tabloid of d’jour, oh Lindsay Lohan, well oh Mike Lohan. Anthony Weiner tweeted his way to the wall of shame politician with a self portrait of sizable proportion. John Edwards cuteness dissipated like the rain drops on the ground and Dominique Strauss-Kahn (huh, like in who in the fudge is he?), France’s President in waiting and ex-FMI chief got naked with and was dethroned by an hotel maid. Rumor is, he was set up. Just like OJ, they are still looking for the perpetrators. Unlike OJ, there may be a light!
Liz Taylor
We said goodbye to hilarious and sometimes acerbic Andy Rooney, oh I miss those assays. We miss Elizabeth Taylor and her jewels. Amy Winehouse left many speculating on what could have been. Steve Jobs left us wondering what else he had up his sleeve. Dan Wheldon proved once again that the sports is dangerous but we still love it. Christopher Hitchens fought hard but left us wonder if he has seen purgatory. Heavy D. what a shock you were too young. Peter Falk, Colombo no more. Cesaria Evora, Cape Verde has lost a giant. Betty Ford and Joe Frazier you are at peace.
While Greece melts, Spain, Italy and Portugal look from afar trying to get their mojos back and the rest of Europe saving itself from collapsing. Yeah what’s up Euro?!
South Sudan
In the south of Sudan, the people spoke and the Republic of South of Sudan was born as the women rocked the Nobel Peace Prize stage with Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Leymah Gbowee and Twajjol Karman showing us that peaceable demonstrations bring results while Occupy Wall Street movement caught the bug by occupying any street as the notorious Don’t Ask Don’t Tell street finally came to an end.
I learn about bunga bunga with Silvio Berlusconi while Charlie Sheen went… coocoo cooco crazy. Winninnngggg!!!
Oprah said adieus to The Oprah Winfrey show after twenty five years and began her WON network while Regis Phelbin waved goodbye after 28 years almost as old as Kelly Rippa.
Oprah
Erica Cain said “Oh no, you didn’t” as ABC said sayonara to soaps All My Children and One Life to Live.
Housewives of Lala Land suffered a blow with the suicide of Taylor Armstrong’s husband.
Jersey Shore said bonjourno to Italy, Snooki has written a book which she is still trying to read, and The Situation got his head cracked while trying to protect himself from himself. The X Factor and The Voice tried to slap Idol down but it stuck his tongue out and said, try again.
Kim Kardashian said, “I am married, oh no I am not” in 72 days longer then some people I know.
Kim Kardashian
Chasty Bono who was always silent and timid before she became Chaz Bono, does DWTS while an hero, JR takes the trophy home and learn months later that he is going to be a father in 2012 while Bey Bey in a scene fit for a movie, carefully orchestrated the announcement in the red carpet, yes haters, I am pregnant. Jay-Z raised his hands to second the motion.
Wills fell in love with a commoner named Kate. He loves her, she loves him and her name is now Kathryn and then it was the Royal wedding of the year but Pippa Middleton said, “oh no, I am also here. Take that they like me too” and Princess Beatrice screamed, “nooooooo… my hat, my hat!
Pippa Middleton
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s fathered a secret love child while his wife was blindfolded and the rest of the world learned that the Terminator was a Nacho Libre. Ashtor did the bunga bunga ending up as cover story with a woman name Sara Lee who is not baking cookies for Demi Moore.
The NFL and NBA came close to losing their seasons and almost passed out tissues to their fans as Pat Summitt, the famous coach of the Tennessee women’s basketball team was diagnosed with early-onset dementia.
Kobe Bryant’s wife finally woke up and served him with a cookie in a silver platter. She is expected to get half of his earnings as rumor is, there is no prenup. Catching, stupid!
Garrett McNamara surfing off coast of Portugal
Japan’s female team wins the Women World Cup igniting the country bringing much needed spirit while coach Joe Paterno fell from grace in the Penn State’s sex abuse scandal. Hum, common sense needed not to apply.
Tim Tebow is still kneeling for miracles while the NBA dudes find out that bargaining with people who have more money then them, requires a skill not taught in the basketball court but it was Garrett McNamara, the 90 foot wave surfer who had us in awe off the coast of Portugal.
Bridesmaids
The Help and Bridesmaid were the movie to watch, women ruled as the dudes crossed the pond in a drunken stupor evening waking up in Bangkok, Thailand in Hangover II. Hilarious they were perhaps but original they were not. Captain Jack Sparrow still showed us how it is played. Juicy!
Harry Potter
The boy wizard hanged his hat as we waved adieu to Harry Potter and embraced the wedding of a human and a vampire in the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part I. Geez, I wonder how Part II is going to be. Tom Cruise showed us that he is still has it by jumping off the tallest building in the world. Katie said, “you better sign these papers”.
In the cheer politics of d’jour Barack Obama sit still trying to pick from the Yes I Can menu before the day is over, Mitt Romney so desperate wants to be a President that has flipped flapped like an omelet, John Boehner has cried his balls out more then any woman I know in menopause while Herman Cain said, “I wanna be a President, I wanna be a President” until a few Caucasian women stopped by but Tiger Woods said, “oh no, you didn’t” and he went back to deliver pizza.
John Boehner
I never though I would see the day when Rupert Murdock would be raising his hands to tell the truth nothing but the truth so help his God for hacking into people’s account or be sprinkled with a flying pie but saved by his “don’t mess with me” amazon volleyball young wife. Good TV indeed. It could not have been written better but army intelligence analyst Pte. Bradley Manning and/or WikiLeaks’ founder Julian Assange would concur that hacking may not be so bueno after all?!
California Gurls Katy Perry brushed up my valley girl make believe. Lady Gaga reminded me that I was born this way and tried to bring me back to my Madonna hay days to no avail. Adele had me going. Brit Brit brought me joy. Bieber sang his baby, baby almost to a baby bump. Bruno Mars kept my heart beating softly. Friday, Friday by Rebecca Black became the most popular song on google, hum ok. Wiz Khalifa whizzed me. Nicki Minaj “boy you got my heartbeat runnin away, can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boom” had me boom, boom, boom but Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO rocked my boat and I am still shuffling.
Ok Rihanna, I hear you!
On a personal level, I participated in The Weekender – Gallery Night on Main Street in August, The Gallery Night on Main Street – Best In Show in October, Art Takes Miami 2011, Women’s Event and Christmas Bazaar 2011. Works by Ampablue Creations! Become a friend of the page https://www.facebook.com/ampablue
I honestly don’t get what the whole hoopla is all about “Are you Mom Enough?”?! Is it because the mother is cute, sexy and attractive or the child is looking elsewhere while seductively sucking on his mother’s breast or the pleasantly sexual overtone pose it appears to propagate that is driving everyone bananas?
ludlum drive 
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