He Responded: ” Nothing”

20131218_193052A very interesting debate that could have perhaps, gone to where no man has been before, temporarily ignited on Facebook based on a friend’s post. Lucky me, she is a friend, seriously a friend, a fact I can’t assert about forty five percent of those who I call “friend” but I digress. Welcome to social media!

“Best answer ever! Oprah asked Don Miguel Ruiz (Author of The Four Agreements): “What happens when we die? He responded: ” Nothing”.

I found the statement kinda lame, and as far as I know, if you post something you should expect a comment. This is how it works on Facebook or I am wrong? So, I made a comment that resulted in the following exchange:

Me – How can he know? Has he died and came back to talk about it?
Friend – That’s his answer, accept it or don’t… but that’s his answer.

Well that was a zing! That was a little too forceful for my taste. Perhaps, I should have been clear and stated something to the fact, came back to tell all about it or came back and wrote a book, maybe, just maybe, she would have understood it better?! Fat chance!

Me – I am neither accepting or disagreeing, I was just stating that one can never know that because no one has come back to talk about it.

Mindful of her sturdy mannerless response, she quickly replied with, “anyways, no one can claim to know what happens when we die. Not a single person on this earth. There are hundreds of theories, to calm down our fears, but I just found his answer to be the boldest one, specially coming from a spiritual healer.”

Hum, ok, thank you for the correction. I am forever grateful. Spiritual healer or not, I didn’t find it bold. I found it tad irresponsible specially when he hasn’t been “there”, so it does not make him an expert. Perhaps, “I don’t know” should have been a more appropriate answer considering that dying is a secret club with very specific members.

There are no testimonies, proofs or palpable evidence to descend to, perhaps a psychic, TLC’s Long Island Medium type, would be so kind to give us the intimate details then again, she would have to be telling us the truth before she is paid.

Surely, no one can claim that he or she knows what happens after death. No one. It is a mystery, only for a selective few who have beat the odds, the “lucky” ones who have died, well kind of, temporarily, and came alive to tell all about it. The one’s who have seen the light, the comatose patients who almost expired but for an unexplained reason or another, unbeknownst to them and anyone else, got a reprieve, a second chance to enjoy earthly life once again.

The selective few gives a glance of what it is like beyond life. The “roads” they travel. Their surroundings. Their feelings. Friends and Family they visit with. What they see at the end of that road, that rattles them enough to make a U turn. The beauty of it and the one thing we can attest to is that most, based on their narratives, emerge transformed, a different being, with a different life’s perspective and a chance for a do over.

Others are chance encounters with what they describe as angels they meet at the check point, an invisible line they are not allowed to cross, a point of return, a guard stopping them at the boarder.

They are handed a special meal, an enormous responsibility and it feels special, and yet uncomfortable. No one knows but the fact of the matter is that according to them, they died and came back, as crazy as it may sound, to tell us all about it.

One cannot say for sure that dying is like a bus ride to Disneyland or a pitstop at McDonald but the select few contend that it is one awesome paradise. Peaceful, quiet and… heaven. Based on these premisses alone, something does happen after one dies but it isn’t Nothing!

Tomorrow, You Just Don’t Know!

IMG_0353Oftentimes, you assume that others’ lives are better then yours that while you struggle,  others are somewhere, honeymooning, indifferent to the oblivious. You fancy the belief that the fight is yours alone, the burden is yours to hug and no one else to bear, the suffering envelope handed over to you and you only. Boo ooh, take that heartbreak; surprise surprise, the ride is not a solo trip!

Not so fast bambinos. Pause that button. Hold that thought.

Interesting but how some see their lives and how they prioritize it, is the key.

They perpetuate this notion that living the good life equates having it all, the world is their oyster and suffering is never a word on their vocabulary as they let jealousy and envy get the best of them.

You may not always understand what is going on as you struggle to understand which fallen fruit had hit you on the head and left you to die but no worries; hit the snooze button, it will come to you later in due time.

When you see someone driving that jaguar, don’t assume they have no issues. When you see someone pulling up at that big ole home, don’t assume they have no issues. When you see someone sashaying that designer handbag or dress, don’t assume they have no issue. When you see someone striding that Pepsodent smile, don’t assume they have no issues. When you see someone dancing to the beat of the drum, don’t assume they have no issues. When you see someone laughing uncontrollably to the wisecracker, don’t assume they have no issues. When you see someone at Walmart store, don’t assume they don’t issues, they are not happy; most likely they are content with themselves.

Struggles don’t take a raincheck. Struggles don’t give you a ticket to a spaceship. Struggles don’t give you a passport to Mars. Struggles don’t discriminate. Struggles don’t give you a pass. Struggles do give you the hoola hoola dance and it can hit you at any moment, any time, anywhere in your face and it says HELLO!

You see, assumption most often leads to distorted believe that just because you are going through hell, someone else shouldn’t be all smiles, and happy; they should feel you, be miserable, sympathetic to your cause… NO!

Living large gives you temporary fixes of insanity but it does not issue you a free passport to life’s hurdles.

No need to share your burdens or your story. No need to think that others are living beyond their means. No need to display your sorrows. No need to parade your miseries on a bowl. No need to loan the key to your Cadillac. No need to have the paparazzi follow you to the loo. No need to make others your partner in crime or is there?!

No need to think a thing, other then things do happen and most often, they are behind your control. So, there; hit the champagne bottle!

The fact of the matter is that you can be on top of the world one minute and down the following second, here today and there tomorrow, just like a flashlight, and anyone and everyone, unless you are not human and from Mars, I have yet to speak to an alien, crosses that desert. Simple, no qualms about it! The desert, the thunder that comes roaring like a lion ready to attack, leaving you to ask yourself what happened, right after you got that big ole slap.

But how you deal with it, is another matter. How you sketch that map is up to you. How you ride that bicycle is a mystery but riding it your will.

In need of a sympathy card? Take a number!

There are no recipes, no doctor notes, no prescription drug on how to cross the desert but just cross it. Cross it slowly as its true aim is hard to understand sometimes but ride that bicycle with gusto, keep your chin up, dust those feathers up and wait. Yes, wait!

You see, time is off the essence. Patience becomes an hilarious tool, a virtue as they say, the game du jour, the most expensive chess game at the store and while the game is being played, grab a chair, sit, cross your legs and watch the train go by.

Just weather that storm!

Yeah, I can just hear the chatter, easier said done, right?! But just like in the Will Smith movie, The Pursuit of Happiness, learn to accept your provisional backpack as much as you can and go about your business with it attach to your hips, back, wherever. Get up, play that funky music, straighten yourself up because tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is what matters. Tomorrow, you just don’t know!

A Penny For Her Thought

IMG_3840Ohhh how I would give her a penny for her thoughts!

The picture says it all. I wish I could puncture her soul, open the door to her closet of millions figurines and unmask it.

She seemed to be deep into her thoughts, way, way Up There, reflecting, driving the highway of the unknown thoughts and discovering, smiling at her surroundings. I don’t know where her mind was, what she was thinking but she appeared distant embroiled in a web of summaries.

Let’s face it, after perhaps, an intense laborious day, she looks tired but placid!

The picture was taken late at night, very late while in Macau, at a restaurant where a friend had taken us for dinner and after finishing fixing us the meal. They were winding down,  about to close when we literally barged in. I am pretty sure it was not appreciated it but they made sure one more meal was made.

It was not a five star restaurant, a state of the art come sit down and we offer you the moon nor a McDonald either. It was more like “while in Rome do what Romans do”, located in a corner somewhere, hidden from the prying eyes of hungry bulls, a mom and pop family owned but good well made home meal.

I confess, I was a little apprehensive about what was waiting for us behind the walls but to my amazement, the food was insanely good, the warmth with how we were treated superseded all my fears and I can honestly say that it was not your everyday restaurant but a crème de la crème traditional chinese food.