1. I heard my beloved son-in-law Levi Johnston has moved to Californiiiaaa and is working on becoming a model so I wanted to join him.
2. I fired myself so I will have all the time in the world to read, all of them, all the newspapers in the country, Katie; policy papers included.
3. So what? My popularity has dimmed and oil revenues are down but I can still go moose hunting with Nicolas Zarkozy from France in Russia. I can see it from my balcony.
4. Michael Jackson was stealing my thunder so I wanted it back.
5. I am going into showbiz, so I can finally be that Hollywood/NY entertainer elite and understand what the rest of America understands that I am now able to educate myself on the issues, write my book, give free speeches, campaign and raise money for my conservative peeps, meet real Americans and travel the world.
6.I want to move closer to Obama, so we can jog around the White House and finally beat him. I love him so much…
7. Michele Bachmann, back off. Michael Steele, watch out; I am coming to getcha ya! I am now the female version of myself: the spokesperson, the National Leader of the GOP. Power to the people!
8. I finally knocked some sense out of some person, Michael Jackson right out of the front page and I love it.
9. I am now able to help my fellow Americans by joining the cause with Rush Limbaugh. The liberals and the Democrats have victimized me, so I am blaming my wrongs on the left-wing conspiracy and Obama.
10. Quitter, Twitter what is that? The ethics complaints filed against me, no biggy. Life is about choices and I am the nation’s most anti-choice politician.
Oh no! There are 12 reasons…
11. I am leaving the people of my beloved Alaska high and dry to pursue my national political/personal ambition; I am gonna be on TV. C’mon, what did y’all think? Surprise huh, I gotcha ya!
12. You betcha I am just taking some time off. I will be back in 2012!